Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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