and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
