arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
