whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
