his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
