I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
