I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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