It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish my penis had a tongue
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
