What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
