Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
