yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
