where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
