your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
