while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
birth control should be required to get into college
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The power of my boobs compel you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
