I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
