The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
