Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
