I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
