you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
