I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
