dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
