Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
