dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
