I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
