Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
