So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
