her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
