We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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