just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
