how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
