he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize