she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
