and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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