just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My feet surprised me
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