Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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