Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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