I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize