So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
