I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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