Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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