wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
