I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize