I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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