You're so nebulous sometimes
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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