Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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