We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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