i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
