batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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