the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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