on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
