Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize