Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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