Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
