Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Say something about gay babies.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
