the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
