Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize