I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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