u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
