he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
