its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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